Of Money Making Ideas

Dear Readers,

A widely known saying goes "Money makes the world go round". Overused, yet the truth varies from person to person. Some rejects the notion completely, tearing the idea into pieces and shoving it down an incinerator located in the underworld. Some agree, and a lot of people chucked in some supporting statements (often cheeky) such as "but money can't buy love".

Regardless of the opinion on money, it doesn't hurt if one could gain more of them. Today's post is about making money. While this may sound serious, trust me I really don't want it to be. This post is to share on the variety of money making ideas I've come across, how they work, and why they won't work for me. Some are logical, legit ideas. Some are on the other hand, absurd ideas; just to maintain your sanity (or adversely drive you straight into the looney bin).

Kindly note that, these are merely suggestions. Success or failure of these ideas highly depends on your efforts. Same goes to the absurd ideas. A bit of disclaimer (as if anyone would care) : I shall not be held responsible should any trouble arises as a consequence of the readers acting upon reading the info from the blog. Hey, it's the Internet. Don't take it too seriously.

Jadi tunggu apa lagi? Ayuh kita lihat idea-idea untuk menjana pendapatan supaya anda boleh membeli PS3 yang anda idam-idamkan itu (dan ajak saya main sekali tq)



1) Real Estate Investment

How it works :

One of the sure-fire ways to make money. Could be done by either simply investing in a property and renting it out, or buying one property and trading it up for better properties (i.e growing your money). Requires : careful determination of the potential of the property, a good property manager (or property management skills, if you plan to do it yourself) , and good bargaining skills.

Why I'm not doing it:

Lack of funds is the main reason. True, one can always get loans to start off. Still, you'd need a capital for that. Furthermore, I'm always against "pinjam wang bayar hutang".Beli rumah sendiri pun belum mampu, inikan pula nak beli untuk berniaga.

2) Stock Investing

How it works:

Stocks, or "main saham" is another popular income generating idea. Stocks is also known in World of Warcraft as one of the lower level dungeons / instances that has a lot of quests, but crappy loots. Okay enough sidetrack. Similar to Real Estate, stocks also requires thorough analysis of the market, discovering their potentials, and also monitoring them very closely. Stocks are definitely not something you can "Touch'n'Go". Develop a comprehensive strategy, get a good broker, and take good care of your investments as if they're your beloved pet cats (or iguanas, whatever strikes you best). Also, understand there are numerous risks involved. So, dare to fail, and always have a backup plan.

Why it's not for me:

Experience, and good knowledge of how the market works is absolutely essential. I have neither. Investing in stocks requires guts. I don't have enough of those, due to my lack of knowledge. I do have balls though, physically.

3) Mutual Funds / FD

How it works:

Basically, you dump a certain amount of money and wait for them to grow at a predetermined rate. I'm really not an expert at this, but notice the word "wait". Jika anda mengharapkan menjadi jutawan segera dengan FD / Mutual Funds, maka anda boleh terus berangan-angan tahi ayam (eh tak masuk). Mutual funds however do come in a lot of "sizes" (just like undergarments) that vary in terms of risks and returns. But unlike stocks, your investments would come in a package that usually consist of a portfolio of investments (correct me if i'm wrong on this).

Why I'm not at these:

Malas nak tunggu. Ini adalah pemikiran tipikal kaum kita ya rakan-rakan. Actually, my opinion on FD / MF is that they're strictly long term investments. Yes, I may consider them for my retirement fund, but wedding fund? I'd be better off fasting 2 days a week, and saving them into a normal savings account.

4) Menjual Organ Badan

Saya pernah post idea ini di laman sesawang (is this what you call them nowadays?) Facebook. Asas kepada idea ini adalah; organ kita pastilah sangat mahal harganya. Kalau jual buah pinggang boleh kaya kot. Alah buah pinggang ada dua, jual satu ok lagi kot (betul ke ha? Bio aku C5 so of course la tak begitu meyakinkan)

Hah, sembang kencang, kenapa tak buat?

Sebab saya rasa organ saya kurang bermutu. He he.

5) Membuat Persembahan Muzikal Di Pasar Seni

Juga dikenali sebagai "busking". Sebenarnya tak terhad kepada persembahan muzikal sahaja. Anda boleh buat persembahan silap mata, silat pengantin, menyamar jadi patung batu, menyamar jadi tahi, main hula hoop, wayang kulit, bercerita kisah-kisah sang kancil, ah dan macam-macam lagilah. Pendek kata, apa-apa pun boleh. Tarian bogel sahaja tak boleh, nanti DBKL tangkap. Lagipun pasti rugi, nanti habis-habis pun orang bagi seringgit sahaja (semangat freeloader tegar).


6) Berniaga Produk Aneh / Ajaib

Sekarang ini ramai sungguh orang menjual pelbagai produk "kesihatan". Ada jus pengurus badan, gel langsing, minyak rambut tumbuh rambut, Goyok untuk menyedut racun pun ada. Alah, goyok, yang tampal-tampal tu. Dah macam alat Doraemon dah semuanya. Kebiasaannya ubat-ubat aneh ini dijual dengan harga yang mahal. Jadi apa kata, anda reka sahaja satu produk contohnya "Air Mineral Lelaki". Untuk promosi, anda buat sahaja flyers banyak-banyak dengan ayat seperti "MAHU HEBAT DI RANJANG?" dengan font saiz 72 bold.

7) Meniaga Larut Malam (MLM)

Meniaga larut malam atau nama samarannya Multi Level Marketing juga seolah-olah menjadi trend rakyat Malaysia sejak kebelakangan ini. Biasanya "mesyuarat" MLM ini dijalankan di kedai-kedai mamak seperti Restoran Ben Maju (yang saya ragui status halalnya, serius tak berani aku makan). Konsep mereka selalunya begini (sila rujuk dialog dibawah):

Abang MLM : Abang, pekaba bang? Sihat? Waa hensem la hari ni.

Hensem : Ofkos la. Aku hari-hari hensem kot. Kau pehal? Tetiba ajak aku kuar minum?

Abang MLM : Nih bang, aku nak ajak ko join bisnes aku ni, untung gila beb hari-hari aku boleh makan mekdi, kucing aku pon makan big mac skarang.

Hensem : huih kaya betul tu. banyak ke modalnyer?

Abang MLM : Sikit je bro. Minimum RM100 je. tapi kau tengok eh bang, kalau kau masuk 100, next week kau dah dapat 500. 2 minggu pastu, kau dapat 2500. Setahun kau boleh jadi jutawan broooo. Aku baru je order Mini Cooper untuk maid aku tadi. Senang sikit dia nak pergi pasar beli ikan.

Hensem : Wau kayanya! Best betul ni! (mudah terpengaruh)

-tamat sesi drama swasta-

Little did abang hensem know, that 90% of MLM are scams. Pertama sekali, jika benarlah Abang MLM itu kaya, takkanlah belanja mamak jer kot? Busuk-busuk pun, belanjalah Starbucks ke, Chocolate Lounge ke, takpun belanjalah dinner di hotel. Keduanya, meniaga apa yang begitu untung sampai 5x dalam seminggu? Kalau betul pun, kebarangkalian perniagaan tersebut menyalahi undang-undang teramatlah tinggi. Abang hensem tidak sedar semua itu. Ini kerana abang hensem tidak mempunyai financial literacy yang mencukupi. Mungkin juga kerana abang hensem terlalu rakus. Kesudahannya, anda mungkin boleh tahu sendiri. Tapi kalau nak juga, nanti saya buat satu skrip drama full bagi anda semua terhibur. Boleh?

8) Blogging

Ok sebenarnya ini tujuan sampingan post ini. Nampak kan ada banner nuffnang di merata tempat dalam blog ini? Saya minta jasa baik pembaca semua, sekiranya ada iklan keluar disitu, ringan-ringankanlah jari anda. Klik lah iklan-iklan tersebut. Tak susah pun, klik dan tengoklah sejenak. Manalah tahukan anda memang memerlukan plan pascabayar terbaru dari Digi ke. hehe. Tapi selalunya tak ada banner. Pesanan saya kepada penaja, silalah letak iklan anda di blog saya. Saya sanggup membuat reviu seikhlas hati saya tentang produk anda, tak kiralah produk pencukur bulu pubis sekalipun. Saya nak kumpul duit ni, nanti awek saya lari pergi jantan berpoket kembung macam mana? pasrah la saya.

Ok, anda ada idea-idea menjana wang yang lain? Silalah kongsi disini.

Sekian.